Well!

I remember the first day we met.

I thought you were strange

You talked too much

We sat next to each other every Thursday morning

And all the other kids would gather round us,

We would entertain them

I didn’t like you (but secretly I kind of did)

But I don’t tell people what I really think…

Except for you

I always told you when I thought you were being mean, when I thought you had no backbone, and when I saw a fault I gladly pointed it out.

You were not as excited as I was

And you were kind of a baby,

I was kind of cold

You were so emotional

I don’t know what to do with you!

I waited all week to be with you

Hours spent wasting by the phone, I am not that girl, I do not waste.

I am not dependent on how other people feel about me…

So why am I waiting by the phone, waiting for your call… your text… your anything

You should be so lucky as to wait for me.

Why don’t you know this?

So I will no longer be waiting.

.

.

.

well!

don't let the darkness eat you up

when i was a young girl we sat under trees,

you told me stories in the dark of night

you whispered the secrets of the universe into my ear.

and i fell in love

one day i woke up and walked to school,

i came home and called my sister

walked to the store

and ate 16 carrot sticks

i sat under trees and waited

i walked dark streets and i hoped to see your face

i stopped

i walked away

i made myself my own safe place

and i slowly faded away

Dark Dark Dark

i love macintosh apples, the ones you eat,

i love the dark red skins, the creamy white inside.

so bright its almost blinding...

if snow white ate a poison apple.

it would be a macintosh,

the texture on your tongue, its sweet and crisp, like a cold cloud.

when i sit down with you, drift into your arms,

when you lift my chin,

its like i'm sinking into that crisp apple.

that dark delicious

pure white

hopeful. hard. place.

don't drop me

Not Your Lover

I see things in stiff bright colors

And the words come tumbling out

I find my soul expanding

And then contracting

I wait for the unknown

And am not satisfied

I turn on sad songs

And go to sleep

I will not sleep, I will not wait

I see, I feel, I find,

And when I do, the world shines

Down Down Down

have you found out yet that it's hard to fall in love,

and even harder to fall in and out of it.

its emptying and each time it hurts.

why is it that for a week i can be ok,

even happy,

and then it hurts.

it hurts in my heart,

in my soul.

for a while i can fall asleep all by my self,

no help needed,

and then i need you next to me.

i was happy you were gone

i was free and the world seemed to have more air in it then before,

but now your back and i cant breath

and i cant focus

and i cant sleep.

help me,

let me go,

let me walk away,

let me find my own adventures.

i was happy when you went away.

i don't want to hurt you... i just want to save myself.

when i am with you its like i am drowning and only you can save me.

but i need to save myself,

here comes a feeling you thought you'd forgotten

he sets down his pen an looks right at her, deep eyes into darker eyes, away she went down the rabbit hole,

:not today:

(look away, look away, look away)

"i am glad your here, but i'm unhappy"

"what?"

"i want control of my mind back for a while.... give me a year or two, umm maybe six, i promise i still want you, i also need my own mind"

"i still need you"

"i need you too:i still want you:"

eyes shut